Because I was in a hurry yesterday I didn't elaborate on some of the other things that were also going through my mind. These thoughts are still present and have not gone away. As I stood there singing the hymnals my mind was also focused on being thankful for the little things. I can't describe why, but the fact that Jason was standing next to me singing the music made me happy. It felt nice to know that he was not just standing there, but instead he was letting God's words flow freely through him. Strange, but I think it might have bothered me had he stood there silent. I also enjoyed how he held my hand throughout the entire service, and every time he squeezed it I knew it was his way of showing his emotion to me during certain moments. Several times we exchanged glances and when we talked later, we found out, we were thinking the exact same things. These are the little moments that make life worth living - and so many times we ignore them when they happen.
The fact that today he has the song "I Can Only Imagine" stuck in his head, and we keep finding ourselves singing it - and then saying "I love you" tells me we are on the same page ... funny how as time passes, you think you might be drifting apart because there are so many moments you are each doing your own thing, but in fact, you are drifting closer together as one! That's exciting!! And, I today, am so thankful.
We both talked about how life is so short, we need to stop sweating the small stuff. We talked about how one day, we want our kids to think back about how much we taught them and more importantly how much we loved them and taught them to love one another and God. I've found myself worried from time to time that Jason and I don't go to church and have a church family. We've both been exposed to so many hypocritical people who only follow God on Sundays so we were having a hard time in this area. But, I realize that God is leading us where we should be. He gives us moments like yesterday. He opens our hearts to His glory. And, even though we don't have a church yet, He'll be leading us the whole time.
Today I am so excited to be alive. I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful people in my life. Jason and I are so blessed to have found each other after all the roads we have both been down. God's plan for me has been amazing. My heart is so open right now, I can't even describe all I am feeling.
Jason and I have been reflecting on the song and this weekend. And we've grown closer yet again. Today he said, "I can only imagine our future together and having kids with you one day." I am enjoying the present and looking forward to all that is to come. Recognize the little things - life is full of them!